Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
my being single is dangerous.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize