I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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