You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
