U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize