just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Shame is for Republicans.
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