it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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