Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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