hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize