I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
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I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
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Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize