I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize