I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize