So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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