I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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