Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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