I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
i think i just lost a toe
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize