Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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