Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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