epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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