its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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