didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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