I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
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Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
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Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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