john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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