respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize