: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize