after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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