I seem to have left my pride at pride
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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