I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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