im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with two different species that night
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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