I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I have fence marks all over my body
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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