There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We're too hungover to prance.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize