I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize