My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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