Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have herpe
just one?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize