oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize