When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
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in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
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Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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