I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
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He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
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Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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