i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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