I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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