The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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