I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
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What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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