that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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