some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize