ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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