Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize