her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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