yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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