He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize