the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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