This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
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dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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