I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize