whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just invented taco cereal.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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