all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize